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How to Get People to Like You?

How to Get People to Like You?
Psychology, Diplomacy

Article Rating:::: 8 Ratings :::: Saturday, April 21, 2007
 

Positive versus Negative

No one likes to be around a person who is continuously nagging about everything. If you want to be successful, then show everyone that you are a positive person. If you are not miserable yourself (quite likely), you will probably like to be around other like minded positive people.

This is applicable on many levels. Person to person, nation to nation or player to player, they tend to follow the same principle.

An example in Risk may clarify this better. There has been many times that I have been confronted with annoying online game players. They tend to continuously blame one or more players for their own misfortune. In fact, if they got attacked or if their position is under threat, they start complaining, swearing and say just about anything they can come up with. What happens next is always consistent. Other players start to dislike this person and consciously or unconsciously start to be aggressive against him. Eventually, as more and more players are eroding his power, he becomes weaker and weaker until he is kicked out of the game. At this point everyone is relieved and the game is resumed as normal.

On the other hand, if you are a positive thinker, despite any misfortune you may experience in the game, you will have more chance to be liked.

This works just the same on international level. Some nations are simply annoying and the negative propaganda they create against themselves makes them look far worst than they really are. These nations may go under all sorts of pressure from other more powerful nations. They should attempt to look positive and forward looking despite the misery they may get from the bully nations. Other nations will then realise that the weaker nation is just a victim and not some rouge and dangerous country that is going to destroy the whole world.

Don’t Appear to be Perfect

Perfect people are weird. They look arrogant and self-absorbed. People tend to like those who don't take themselves seriously. If someone has the capability to laugh at himself, he appears to be much more likeable and approachable. The guy who likes to show off and look important may put people off completely. People are attracted to confidence.  Confident people don’t need to show off their confidence to everyone. They just have it. Those who try to show it off, probably don’t have it to begin with.

When you are playing Risk, pay particular attention not to show yourself as the best Risk player that humanity has ever seen! The chances are that your opponents will develop a desire to prove you wrong. Instead, appear to be normal. Be confident. If you made a silly mistake every now and then, just accept it and move on. Don’t come up with an excuse. Others will appreciate your honesty and will not be annoyed by your radiated arrogance.

Harm and Favour

Traditionally most people think that if they want to be good to someone they have to give them a favour. This works, though it is not the only way. If you appear as a person who gives too much favours, others may start to suspect that you are up to something.
It turns out that there is a different way to do this. Here is the logic.
  • If you harm someone (intentionally or unintentionally), you dislike the other person because you think you can't be that bad. It must be their fault after all.
  • Equally, if you do something good for another, you will like him more.
  • Hence, if you can get others to do you a favour, they will like you too! By one act, you get them to like you and do something for you as well.
This also works when playing Risk:
  • If you attacked someone and they got annoyed, you will end up disliking them. The chances are that you will attack them even further. Get one to attack another (on dubious grounds), to increase the likelihood of a war of attrition. History is full of examples where leaders have used this technique.
  • If you help a player by removing your armies from his continent, you will end up considering him as a friend, even an ally.
  • If you ask others to do you a favour by removing their armies from your continent so that you don't have to attack them, they will end up doing you a favour and like you as well! You get your continent, get rid of their armies and make them your friend too.

Put yourself in their shoes

The more interaction you have with people, the more they will like you. All you need to do is to get mentioned. Be around them and get noticed. This works with everything. The more you interact with them, the more you will like them. This can be your car, your gadget, the place you live in, the country you live in, the food you eat and so on. Repetition works on your own mind as well as others.

Associate yourself with a good thing

If you find someone in a good mood, then go and talk to them. When people are in a good mood, everything they do can get a positive association. It’s like a score. The happier they are, the more score is passed to the activity or human they are interacting with.


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About the Author

I am a board game and Risk game enthusiast. I like thinking and talking about strategy in games which has led me to the creation of this website. Although Risk is a classic, I feel one can never get tired of playing this game. Read about what I think of the game and I am always eager to know what you think.

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